Zapper Fodder

Just a brief note to widen an amusing exchange between me and some old school mates.  Sharing the normal geriatric distaste for media and managerial cant, we competed to name the introduction to a TV or radio show that would make us reach for the off-switch in the fastest time.

My early entry – which I actually heard a few years back – was “And now, live from Slough …”.  I don’t know what the programme was, because I had switched off/over before it became evident.

The actor Chris Addison tweeted a good example – “In this show, I’m on a mission … “  –  which is a fair warning to  you that some semi celeb with not the slightest claim to expertise in anything apart from drawing attention to themselves is about to mess up a history or geography programme. “I’m on a journey …” is another nominee for awfulness.

Another pal suggests that the most depressing words on television are.. “and my Special Guests tonight are Gwyneth Paltrow, David Beckham, and Billy Connolly”.   But he reports a local contact who believes – probably out of wicked bias – that “the most depressing thing on television is any news item introduced by the words “David Cameron today joined the debate on …”, asking “whether there’s anything this shiny-faced spiv doesn’t have some fatuous or populist opinion on?”.

And then there is “On FM, the Daily Service”.

What would make you leap for the zapper ?  Any entries ?


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