- The Prime Minister will pledge that all the guilty would be brought to justice.
- The Guardian will worry about Martianphobia, and point out that destroying the White House was an untypical act by a basically friendly group of people. We should not judge the many by the actions of a few.
- The Daily Mail will ask what the security services knew about the Martians beforehand – and did they try to recruit them ?
- A retired general will write to the Times blaming defence cuts
- George Galloway will say we deserve to be attacked because of all the unprovoked and aggressive Martian probes we have sent to their planet.
- A soft-spoken vicar will weave it in to Radio 4’s Thought For The Day, saying that the victims are in our thoughts and prayers, but indicating that we are all, in a very real sense, Martians.
- The Iranians will ask them to Tehran for talks.
- An internet group will say it is all a set-up job by the American government. Or the Jews. Or it was created in a film studio and really didn’t happen at all.
- The Daily Express will claim they were driving a battered Fiat Uno in a Paris underpass
- The Sun (via Tracey, 19, from Doncaster) will blame the Human Rights Act
- UKIP, conscious that another planet is abroad somewhere, but unclear exactly where, will blame the EU for the lax immigration control that let the Martians in.
Published by Adrian Perry
Ex-Principal, ex-economics teacher, ex-rugby referee, ex-Brain of Britain contestant. OBE, honorary doctorate, Ofsted grade 1, yeah, yeah, yeah. Still opinionated. E-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.
View all posts by Adrian Perry