I thought I was the only person in the world who didn’t like the amount of muzak/music being played in non-musical places at the moment, until a meal with friends on holiday – where I timorously asked the waiter if the music could be turned down – was met with looks of relief and support. Why do owners of restaurants want to drown us with pseudo-disco music, or someone wailing about their amorous angst ? Do they think customers prefer to listen to 1980s dross – or 2020s dross – rather than talk to each other ? I asked the web, and was told that people eat quicker and drink more if there is music playing. In my case, that’s right because I eat faster, and avoid the dessert, in order to get out of the place. I’ve actually been in restaurants where my wife and I were the only customers, and found resistance to turning the music down – which caused me to walk out of a restaurant in Sicily.
Even the good old Ivy Restaurant plays music (subtly, but … why ?). And it’s not just bars and restaurants. A phone enquiry to an energy or insurance company will play crap music whilst you’re waiting for your enquiry to be answered (“due to a high volume of calls”): the otherwise excellent Octopus Energy tells me “while you’re waiting, here’s a track I hope you’ll like”. Tuneless guitar thumping ? Er, no, I bloody didn’t.. A car pulling up next to you at traffic lights will bombard you through an open window with the latest R&B – it’ll never, I guarantee, be a Bartok String Quartet[1]. Shopping centres generally give us music as we browse – indeed, some French towns pump pop music through tinny speakers in their entire shopping areas. Yes, Pontivy, it’s you I’m talking about.
There are signs, a few hopeful signs, that we’re reaching peak music blasting. A letter in the Observer last week complained of the practice, and I read in the press that there may be a move to prevent train and bus travellers imposing their tastes on fellow passengers (which I thought was an urban legend, but happened to a family member last week on quite a long journey). If so, hurrah. There could also be could be a citizens’ response, a sort of neighbourhood watch of the airwaves. A while ago I pulled up in a shopping centre car park in Sheffield, near a car where all the doors were open and bad pop music was being blasted to fellow shoppers. I opened my door and retaliated with a loud Purcell Fantazia. There were looks of astonishment, and then a shrug of “OK, you got me there” as their volume lessened and doors shut.
I like music, and have pretty catholic tastes, but I don’t insist on imposing it on other people. When did this all start ? Is it just that, it’s technically possible: we can do it so we will do it ? If so, I have news for all the undesired broadcasters. We have earphones now, don’t we ?
[1] One exception. The first time I entered the Fat Cat pub in Sheffield’s Kelham Island, there was Mozart being softly played. This was years ago, which I know because it was the first no smoking pub I had been to.
Grumpy Wisdom 